The Origin of Nicotine Stains

Nicotine Stains came to me during my days at Ramapo College. I was going through a very rough period of time and things seemed to just kept getting worse. I started to have chest pains and wound up seeing my family doctor. There is a history of heart disease in my family so naturally I was scared shitless.

Luckily, the problems then were only stress induced panic and were somewhat easily rectified. During that appointment my doctor at the time suggested I try a stop smoking pill since the gum and patches had done very little for me. This turned out to be a mistake.

The medication I’d been prescribed had some very nasty side effects that altered the way I thought and my mood. I was in a dark place and things happening in my life at the time didn’t help. I was only on the medication for a month luckily before deciding to discontinue it’s use. During that month, however, I suffered severe depression, racing thoughts, insomnia and even had a suicidal thought or two.

This period of time, between the panic issues, the pills and then subsequent non-medicated attempts to quit really struck me and has stuck with me all these years. It was then that I came up with the original concept for Nicotine Stains.

Another incident that happened to me was during an attempt to quit cold turkey. I found myself, after three days of quiting, in a zombie like trance walking the half mile from my house to the local 24 hour grocery store at 4 in the morning. The whole time I tried talking myself out of buying cigarettes but to no avail. Addiction won out. I remember the sweet relief of that cigarette but the feeling of defeat that followed. The driving force of nicotine addiction is like a prison and it’s a main factor in Charlie’s life in Nicotine Stains.

In between then and now I produced a funding trailer for Beer Pong: The Musical and worked on some short projects, industrials and commercials, never forgetting this little story about a guy who tries to quit smoking but the withdrawal symptoms causes a mental break down.

Last year, I had just moved to Orange County, California and was living with my Aunt. My grandfather was very ill and I was home alone with no one but my now fiancé Kimmy by side for a week. Things we’re looking very bleak and I was having some panic again (the first time in more than a year). It brought back memories of that bad time in college and brought Nicotine Stains back into my mind. That day I sat and wrote out the three page outline of the script on a yellow note pad and knew that the script was ready to be born.

I often think about the energy that helped me unblock and write the outline. I hadn’t been able to write in months and there was something different this time. I really believe my grandpa sent me some of his energy from his hospital bed, 3000 miles away in New York to help me the way he had always done so. The next night, after I was able to speak to him (though he could not speak back because he was unconscious) over a cell phone, he soon passed away.

After he died I was devastated. He had been more like a parent to me then a Grandparent and his loss was almost immobilizing. At the same time, his memory of who he was and everything he had helped me through, the pure strength of our relationship, inspired me in a way that I could never imagine. I started the screenplay two weeks after losing him and eight weeks later the first draft of Nicotine Stains was completed. I know he had been watching over and helping guide me as I wrote. Not being religious it was an incredible experience to feel his presence in my thoughts and work. It’s why this film, once complete, will be dedicated to his memory.

With a lot of polishing and help from Kimmy and my best friend/business partner Christopher Ehling I was able to bring the script to a final draft and begin the long process of pre-production. I knew then it would be a long road but it’s a story that needs to be told and a film I believe in. Things immediately started to come together to make the film…but that’s for another blog post.

Stay tuned for my next installment of Inside The Pack.

Gennaro Desposito